Category: Self-care

Have you been playing with the idea of trying out or getting back to yoga? Let me help you find the motivation to get started with these 7 great reasons to practice yoga as a parent.

1. It’s a flexible activity

One of the things I love about yoga is its incredible flexibility – which makes it the ideal practice for us parents, by the way.

You can practice yoga almost anywhere and with very little equipment (I’ll try to remember that next time I’m trying to find excuses while on holiday or on a business trip).

No matter your level of fitness, your age, or your condition, you’ll certainly find exercises and poses that suit your situation and will quickly have a positive impact on your health, well-being and stress level.

Another reason to practice yoga as a parent is that you can adapt the length of your flow to your needs and/or schedule. From the 5-minute morning session to the 45-minute flow when the kids are away – everything is possible!

2. It improves sleep quality

One of the major benefits I’ve noticed since I started practicing yoga on a regular basis is a very positive impact on my sleep. I usually wake up often and have a light sleep. However, after a short time of regular yoga practice, I started to have a deeper sleep and to sleep through the night more often.

I actually wasn’t expecting this kind of impact within such a short time (three weeks!). I realized that I was sleeping better and the only part of my routine that had changed was that I had added yoga to it.

For extra good sleep, you might want to end your day with a yoga session including particularly restorative poses such as the child’s pose, the standing forward bend, the reclining bound angle, or the corpse pose.

3. It teaches you mindfulness

As a parent, we usually rush through the day already thinking about the next thing we are going to do. Not only is this very exhausting, but it also prevents you from living the moment and connect to your body.

Yoga is the perfect opportunity to take a break and focus only on what is in the present moment. It helps quiet your thoughts, pay attention to the now and connect to your body by breathing slowly and concentrating on the poses. You’ll see that this is a particularly efficient way to recenter.

If you’re with the kids, you might want to include them to your practice (only if the situation allows it, of course). Breathing exercises and yoga poses can be fun and will teach them self-awareness, calming techniques, and much more.

4. It helps relieve stress

Being a combination of conscious breathing, stretching, and meditation, among other techniques, it’s not a surprise that yoga is a powerful tool to keep stress at bay.

Allowing yourself to just be and showing self-compassion and awareness relieves you from the pressure that you carry around.

It’s been scientifically proven that yoga practice helps lower the secretion of cortisol, the primary stress hormone, and cope with feelings of anxiety. Some studies also show that it helps reduce symptoms of depression.

5. It teaches kids healthy habits

Practicing yoga is also a great way to teach your kids healthy habits. My sons see me doing my yoga sessions and, especially the younger one, likes to participate or sometimes even suggests doing some yoga before going to bed.

Teaching them breathing techniques is a useful tool for them to learn to recenter or calm down. The exercises can be easily adapted. For younger children, playing to be a locomotive or a puppy, or roaring like a lion can be much fun. Elder children might like the challenge of a difficult pose.

6. It’s an opportunity to take me-time

As a parent, it can be difficult to find time to nurture yourself. However, making sure you make time to refill the batteries on a regular basis is crucial to have the resources needed to take care of your family. That’s the only way to provide the emotional and physical support they need without you ending drained and even resentful.

Integrating yoga to your weekly or even daily routine is a great opportunity to reconnect with yourself and turn inward. This time is just for you. Ask yourself: How do I feel? What do I feel? What do I need?

7. It allows you to stay fit and healthy

Obviously, yoga is a great way of staying fit and healthy at all ages.

It helps lowering blood pressure and reduce various types of chronic pain, such as back pain or migraines. It also allows you to improve your flexibility, strength, balance, and posture.

When choosing the right poses, yoga can also help boost and re-energize you. There’s nothing better than an uplifting yoga session in the morning to start the day!

Its diversity and flexibility are only a few reasons to practice yoga as a parent. Not only will it help you stay fit and healthy on an emotional and physical level, but it’s also a great way to teach your children the importance of body-awareness and mindfulness.

And I promise you’ll soon find many more benefits… including having a perfect excuse to wear yoga pants…

Do you know this feeling? When difficult emotions overwhelm you? You try to ignore them, push them away, force a positive attitude, but they keep coming back – and even become stronger.

Some call them negative emotions because they are uncomfortable, make us uneasy, show us sides of ourselves we’d rather not see. Others pretend it’s just a question of attitude, that you can stop yourself from feeling them by being positive.

But what if you adopted a different approach? What if you realized that these feelings actually have a purpose and can help you grow? What if you could follow a process to accept, process and gain insight into your emotions? Here are 6 steps to follow to help you to handle challenging emotions.

1. Accept

The first step to handle challenging emotions is to simply accept them. It’s crucial to understand that these feelings won’t go away if you ignore them. Quite the opposite, forced positive thinking will only make them come back magnified.

Ditching the feelings of guilt or weakness is an essentiel part of the acceptance process. Realizing that it’s perfectly human to have difficult emotions and that allowing them is proof of emotional intelligence will save you a huge amount of time and energy.

Accepting your emotions is understanding that you cannot control them. You can only control how you respond to them.

2. Feel

Once you’ve accepted that these emotions are natural and can’t be ignored, the next step is to allow yourself to feel them. Find an appropriate location and time, and let the feelings flow. If necessary, cry, scream, kick a pillow, or do whatever will help you exteriorize the feelings that want to emerge (as long as you are not hurting yourself or others, of course).

It’s important that you take your time with this process. Give yourself the room to express your emotions. Depending on how deeply they are anchored and how long you’ve been holding on to them, it might take you some time to face and feel them.

Also, consider communicating your feelings to others. Sharing your inner experiences can be a way to connect deeply and will increase your chances of getting your needs met at the same time. Make sure you trust the person you are opening up to and keep in mind that it’s safer to share these feelings once you had a chance to sit with them by yourself first rather than blurting them out when they are coming up.

3. Label

When my five-year-old tells me about a situation that upset him and I ask him how he felt, he usually responds: “Not nice.” So I follow up and ask him: “What do you mean? Did it make you angry or sad? Or did you feel disappointed?”

We often underestimate the importance of labeling our emotions. Even as adults, we usually only use a few adjectives to describe our feelings. Not seldom do we fail to recognize that our anger hides others feelings, for instance.

Identifying and naming our emotions in a more nuanced way can help us regulate them better. Here is a non-exhaustive list of emotions so you can give it a try: boredom, content, disdain, eagerness, frustration, hope, loneliness, overwhelm, serenity, proud, self-consciousness.

4. Distance yourself

An effective way of detaching from your emotions consists in observing and witnessing them without judgment. Also, avoid categorizing them into positive and negative emotions.

We all agree on the fact that some are more challenging and uncomfortable than others. However, it’s crucial to realize that they all play an equally important role as indicators of our wellbeing and can show us the way to happiness and serenity.

When trying to detach from your emotions, it’s also important to allow yourself to tune into these feelings and feel the sensations in our body. Concentrating on your body will prevent you from thinking too much and help you process the emotions without torturing your mind.

Distancing yourself from your emotions is an essential step as you will be able to respond rather than react to them. This way, it will be easier to think long term and take decisions according to your values.

5. Understand

Detaching from your emotions is also a way of questioning and understanding them. Ask yourself where these feelings are coming from. What do your body and soul want to tell you?

Be honest with yourself: Are your reactions appropriate in certain situations? Can you identify any patterns or triggers that make specific feelings arise?

Understanding where these feelings are coming from is one of the most important steps of the process. Finding the root of these challenging emotions will not only give you insight about yourself, but is also a great opportunity to learn, heal and move on.

6. Let go

Accepting emotions and allowing yourself to feel them, doesn’t mean that you are doomed to experience them forever. You might have needed to go through them at some point, but once you have given yourself the room for feel and process them, it’s time to move on.

Ideally, you have now understood where these challenging feelings came from so it’s time to change your approach and apply the lessons learned.

Of course, this doesn’t happen from one day to another. Sometimes, we need to go through this whole process various times before we are ready to move forward. However, every time you face them brings you closer to healing and thriving.

Moreover, as parents it’s particularly important to know how to manage our emotions in a healthy as it’s a way of taking care not only of ourselves but also of the people around us.

Everybody seems to be swearing by positive thinking, but is it really as helpful as it’s supposed to be? What if it was actually counterproductive to force ourselves to think positively when we are feeling otherwise?

Let’s take a look at the impact of the “keep smiling” attitude and see if there are alternatives to reach our goals all while preserving our emotional health.

The problem with positive thinking

Positive thinking is the idea that you can positively influence your life and circumstances by consciously holding a positive attitude. This is usually achieved using techniques such as affirmations and visualization.

While that may sound well and good at first thought, trying to force yourself to have positive thoughts at any price is not ideal and may lead to some frustration and disappointment.

Black and white thinking

One of the caveats of positive thinking is that it can lead to categorizing things into positive and negative: our emotions, our attitudes, situations, etc. However, life isn’t black and white, and particularly emotions can have a variety of nuances.

Instead of labelling our emotions as positive or negative, we could adopt a different approach and accept that they are important indicators of our well-being and, most of all, of our alignment with our higher self.

Putting emotions aside

Very often, when we try to think positively, we fall into the trap of trying to push our emotions aside. Perhaps you think that having difficult emotions is a sign of weakness? Or maybe you are just trying to get rid of uncomfortable feelings?

Unfortunately, the more you try to ignore your emotions, the stronger they become. I used to be a bottler as Susan David, psychologist and author of the book Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life, calls them, trying to push my emotions aside and get on with my life. Until I realized that it was counterproductive and I had no other choice than facing my emotions.

The problem with bottling is that ignoring troubling emotions doesn’t get at the root of whatever is causing them.

-Susan David

Impossible expectations

Another challenging aspect of positive thinking is that it’s raising sometimes impossible expectations, which in turn can trigger feelings of guilt and frustration.

Isn’t it unrealistic to expect from ourselves to think positively at all times? It might sound like a cliché, but life isn’t always easy and setting yourself the goal of remaining cheerful whatever happens is doomed to fail.

It’s crucial to understand that there’s nothing wrong with being sad or angry. The fact that these feelings aren’t comfortable doesn’t mean they are wrong. Put the pressure off you and allow yourself to feel these emotions.

Being always happy is not the solution

Did you know that we tend to oversee red flags and danger when we are in a happy or even euphoric mood (e.g., when we are in love)? Moreover, when we are content and satisfied, we are more prone to stay in our comfort zone. Indeed, change is usually triggered by pain or difficult situations that motivate us to adopt a different approach.

Being in a more balanced or even bad mood actually helps us find more appropriate responses or become more creative to find alternatives. Hardships help us grow and learn emotional resilience becoming more flexible psychologically.

Alternatives to Positive Thinking

Learn to distinguish between positive thinking and a positive mindset

Having a positive mindset is different from being happy all the time. It refers to a mentality where you aspire to see the positive side in situations. In a difficult situation, where you might feel sad, angry, or scared, you can give yourself the time to feel these emotions and process them, and realize afterward that it also had positive effects and helped you grow.

The issue with positive thinking is that it acutally treats the symptoms instead of the causes. Feeling a challenging emotion is just a consequence. With mere positive thinking, you are missing the point and not getting at the root of the problem. Why are you feeling these emotions in a specific situation? What is the trigger? What is your mind trying to tell you?

Changing your mindset means that you accept your emotions as important indicators that shouldn’t be ignored by swiping them away through forced positive thinking. You realize that these uncomfortable and sometimes hardly bearable feelings are beneficial to your mental health and well-being.

Identify negativity triggers

Even if you cannot always be happy, it can be extremely helpful to reflect and identify what triggers your negativity.

Do you have negative beliefs that stop you from enjoying or achieving certain things in life? Maybe you convinced yourself that there’s no way a single mother can have a great career? Or does the fact that you were told that you were a bad writer at school prevent you from pursuing your dream of writing a book?

Once you start treating your thoughts for what they are – constructs based on your history and environment – you’ll be able to distance yourself and question them. E.g., “Wait a minute, there are many examples of single moms that are professionally accomplished. If they can do it, I can achieve it as well!”

The use of affirmations or journalling can be helpful to remodel your thinking patterns. And remember to be kind to yourself! Don’t expect all your negative habits to be blown away from one day to another. Remember that this is a process.

Mindfulness

When I’m feeling uneasy because of challenging emotions, I try to find time to stop and listen inside asking myself: How do you feel? What might be causing these feelings? Why does this situation trigger you? Even though strong emotions might come up, only allowing myself to feel them helps me to move on and eventually feel relief.

Mindfulness techniques and exercises are extremely effective tools that will help you not only quiet your mind, but also pause and listen to yourself.

Focusing on your breathing or on something else (music, nature, etc.) will allow you to pause to allow your emotions to surface, identify and accept them, and try to find out where they are coming from.

Negativity is a huge energy drain, but so is forcing yourself to be happy and positive whatever life throws at you. Positive thinking is nothing more than trying to control the uncontrollable. The key is to accept and let go.

As parents, we have all the reasons to feel stressed and exhausted. In addition to that, we often lack time to relax and recharge the batteries.

But don’t worry, there’s hope! These easy ways to relieve stress will show you that relaxing and releasing the pressure can take less time than you think.

1. Breathe deeply

When we are facing a stressful situation, we go into “fight-or-flight” mode: our body is tense, our heart is racing, and we are barely able to make rational decisions.

Breathing is actually one of the most straightforward ways to relieve stress and will help you activate a relaxation response in your body and mind. There are several breathing techniques you can apply depending on your situation.

I love breathing techniques as they are simple and can be practiced anywhere alone or with our children.

2. Laugh

Among its several benefits on health and mood, laughing is one of the easiest and most effective ways to relieve stress as it actually reduces the level of stress hormones in our body.

You might be asking yourself: “How on earth am I supposed to laugh when I’m stressed out?” Well, it’s not as complicated as it sounds. Here are a few ideas that will certainly help you put a smile on your face or even burst into laughter:

• Think about something funny (a joke, a situation, etc.).
• If you can, try to find something funny in the situation that’s stressing you out.
• Talk to/call a person who makes you laugh.
• Watch a funny show/video.
• Listen to a funny podcast.
• Read a comic/book that makes you laugh.

3. Cry

On the other hand, sometimes, simply allowing yourself to cry can be just what you need to relieve stress. Crying is a natural stress relief mechanism triggered when stress levels are becoming unhealthy. Emotional tears allow to evacuate not only stress hormones but also manganese, which has a positive effect on our mood.

Obviously, crying isn’t something you necessary want to do in front of others. If there are people around you, e.g., your kids or co-workers, you might want to seek some privacy in the bathroom or in another room where you can be on your own.

4. Scream

Having a good scream is another effective way of releasing tension. Of course, we are talking about what is called a primal scream (which has the purpose of relieving stress) and not about angrily yelling at somebody – even though it sometimes might be tempting…

Even though screaming isn’t a very popular stress management technique, it’s a proven therapeutic method. It’s even used in many universities and colleges across Canada and the United States to help students relieve the stress of final exams. 

The tricky part about screaming is finding a location to practice it. Convenient locations to have a good scream could be in nature, in your car, or even screaming into a pillow. It’s also a great way to help children let some steam off.

5. Cuddle

The reaction of babies and children to hugs, kisses, and cuddles is the best proof of their soothing effect. Besides reducing stress, physical touch helps raise your mood, feel connected to others, improve your sleep, and even reduce anxiety.

There are so many ways to cuddle. Of course, you can cuddle your partner or your kids, but you can also hug a friend or spend time with your pet. So don’t wait any longer. Go show your loved ones some appreciation!

6. Walk

Among its numerous benefits, walking is a well-known stress management technique. In my eyes, it belongs to the easiest ways to relax and let go of tension. Accompanied or alone, in nature or in the city, walking can be adapted to almost any schedule or situation.

Also very appreciable is the fact that you can use it preventively. So don’t wait until you are overwhelmed by stress. Making walking part of your daily routine will allow you to regulate your stress levels on a daily basis.

7. Turn the music on

Music is an extremely powerful tool to relieve stress. Listening to soothing music, e.g., classical music, has a positive effect on your heart rate, blood pressure, and stress levels.

Music can also help you express your emotions, focus, and even put you in a meditative state, thereby multiplying the stress-relieving effect. Singing along (loudly or not) and/or dancing are other great ways to use music for stress management.

If you haven’t done so already, try to include music into your daily routine: turn on the music in the car, dance it out with your kids, sing in the shower!

Stress is omnipresent in our lives as parents so it’s crucial to find ways to compensate and let off some steam. These easy ways to relieve stress will help you relieve the tension and can be used preventively to make you more resilient to stress.

We hear about self-love everywhere and we understood that it’s an essential part of our personal development. More than that, it’s the key to happiness. However, learning to love yourself after years of self-criticsm and judgment is no easy job.

I’ve picked 30 of my favorite self-love quotes to inspire you!

If you don’t love yourself who will?

— Naval Ravikant

Dare to love yourself
as if you were a rainbow
with gold at both ends.

—Aberjhani

Our first and last love is self-love.

— Christian Nestell bovee

Friendship with one’s self is all important, because without it one can not be friends with anyone else in the world.

—Eleanor roosevelt

The journey isn’t about becoming a different person. It’s about loving who you are right now.

—Suzanne Heyn

Whatever you are doing, love yourself for doing it. Whatever you are feeling, love yourself for feeling it.

—Thaddeus Golas

The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.

—Steve Maraboli

You are enough. You have nothing to prove to anyone.

—Maya Angelou

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.

—Buddha

Take care of yourself as though you were the most awesome person you met.

—Jen Sincero

It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.

—Andre Gide

Talk to yourself like someone your love.

—Brene Brown

Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.

—Coco Chanel

She remembered who she was and the game changed.

—Lalah Deliah

If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.

—Charler Bukowski

In a society that profits from your self-doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.

—Caroline Cardwell

Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening.

—Lise Hayes

How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.

—Rupi Kaur

It is not love that should be depicted as bling, but self-love.

—Voltaire

It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and make your happiness a priority. It’s a necessity.

—Mandy Hale

Be the love you never received.

—Rune Lazuli

Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every relationship that you have.

—Unknown

If your compassion doesn’t include yourself, it is incomplete.

—Jack Kornfield

Document the moments you feel most in love with yourself – what you’re wearing, who you’re around, what you’re doing. Recreate and repeat.

—Warsan Shire

I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself.

—Rita Mae Brown

Love yourself first and everything falls into line.

—Lucille Ball

Love is the great miracle. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.

—Louise Hay

You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.

—Buddha

If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself.

—Barbara De Angelis

You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.

—Louise Hay